tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-41759566378074606002024-03-05T10:38:41.033-08:00A Prayerful Poetry PageLyric Effusions That Make the World a Better PlaceKennethCBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18158789764258622658noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4175956637807460600.post-4809999465134092292011-10-13T19:58:00.000-07:002011-10-13T19:58:45.721-07:00The Joy Ruck Club; or, Rep. Rogers: What Was He Chinking?<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM-H52i9spe7nlRFiY5Qg_z8KmkqjCZ9FK1OSDmceuR1zC4WB3hYAzJuu87GH_YkBqw5cVuEbXPhViVSeZWiFtBVvowix6dAj_tvjvAi-f482s94tq_s6zzJzQ4OdejjKK3w1SzB0pg9Hy/s1600/Rogers_10_13_11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM-H52i9spe7nlRFiY5Qg_z8KmkqjCZ9FK1OSDmceuR1zC4WB3hYAzJuu87GH_YkBqw5cVuEbXPhViVSeZWiFtBVvowix6dAj_tvjvAi-f482s94tq_s6zzJzQ4OdejjKK3w1SzB0pg9Hy/s1600/Rogers_10_13_11.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;">Ret's hear it for our classy pal!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;">The radies adore him, that Hal.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;">Ruvs Peking Duck,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;">Rucy Riu wants to fuck.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;">Say "Sorry"? Never he shall.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><a href="http://washingtonexaminer.com/blogs/yeas-nays/2011/10/house-appropriations-chair-makes-color-crack#disqus_thread#ixzz1aiHPCFv7%20"><span style="font-size: small;">Rep. Harold Rogers (R-Ky), chairman of the House Inappropriations Committee, went on: "[The Chinese ambassador] had been to the Kentucky Derby and he said, 'you know, the Kentucky Derby is located in a city and you need to know how to pronounce the name of,' he said, 'it's not Rouisville, it's Rouisville," using slightly different inflections, but mocking the ambassador's accent.</span></a></div>KennethCBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18158789764258622658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4175956637807460600.post-58131722681311324992011-10-12T18:35:00.000-07:002011-10-12T18:42:16.279-07:00The Boozehounds of the Colliersville; or, Was Curry Blurry?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjScLgf1EWAWkx_2jiPoHH1QpDVMthUfFBRbOUd36-El5LIcjkZKU-LLJgBi7lfFFErao0tQUsmUUcTztPmTiluhDkv1JHRqAjjBgYftLaG_FqUJI_2iTMSaxlgUbVTYIxbPlXZ-3_JCpXK/s1600/Curry_Todd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjScLgf1EWAWkx_2jiPoHH1QpDVMthUfFBRbOUd36-El5LIcjkZKU-LLJgBi7lfFFErao0tQUsmUUcTztPmTiluhDkv1JHRqAjjBgYftLaG_FqUJI_2iTMSaxlgUbVTYIxbPlXZ-3_JCpXK/s1600/Curry_Todd.jpg" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">"Guns, God, and Booze!*</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Why should I choose?</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Let MADD harpies whine,</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">When liquored I'm <i>fine</i>.</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">At least when imbibin'</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I ain't multiplyin'</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Like immigrant rats</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">With their anchorin' brats."</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
<a href="http://www.knoxnews.com/news/2011/oct/12/sponsor-of-tennessee-guns-in-bars-bill-charged/"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">*"The burden is not going to be on the restaurant owner, it's going to be on the individual, because he's going to know that he has a chance there if he's caught to lose his gun permit forever," said Rep. Todd Curry (R; Collierville, TN).</span></span></a></div>KennethCBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18158789764258622658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4175956637807460600.post-14655570377156758052011-10-12T14:17:00.000-07:002011-10-12T14:59:24.600-07:00The Moustache of Wisdom Takes a "Big Shit"; or, Thomas Friedman Passes the Buck to His Readers*<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9PUmWC-pRdc5-X3f_QcwFuTJlLYu64Whb3AkWbTPoU-Cl6d6Ft4Eyz-aan9C0jP6TWX8UHufBtuQ0f9QSwSO1ivjpz0d3Z_D_dYHXJ5sieUD06l8BkdB1_VVvkaiNVR0WxGo56t-UByy1/s1600/Thomas_Friedman.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="248" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9PUmWC-pRdc5-X3f_QcwFuTJlLYu64Whb3AkWbTPoU-Cl6d6Ft4Eyz-aan9C0jP6TWX8UHufBtuQ0f9QSwSO1ivjpz0d3Z_D_dYHXJ5sieUD06l8BkdB1_VVvkaiNVR0WxGo56t-UByy1/s320/Thomas_Friedman.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;">There once was a blathering fool </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;">Whose prize-winning style is to drool,</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;">Over murderous ghouls</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: large;">And big thinking fools;</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: large;">Of Pander, he is the Crown Jewel.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt;"><span style="font-size: small;">*"You decide." Thomas Friedman, <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/12/opinion/theres-something-happening-here.html?ref=opinion">"There's Something Happening Here."</a> <i>The New York Times</i>, October 12, 2011</span></div>KennethCBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18158789764258622658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4175956637807460600.post-19159582606912189792011-10-11T17:53:00.000-07:002011-10-11T17:53:23.131-07:00Half-baked Alaska; or, Sarah, Vain and Gall<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:OfficeDocumentSettings> <o:AllowPNG/> </o:OfficeDocumentSettings> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div style="text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1lB_pQd_7b-k-8pQnl4eXh2qzypFDqo3SJZhzxeZtfD5Gz-2d5l_5UQyGdRkpEe5iTNg7n-Ym8peYgGPX5-0XfvuKFb26NvDR0Oq3q7tIe5QhaxEFf_A74oKH_kAx1ai3sa3XkJ_4KEm0/s1600/Sarah_Palin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1lB_pQd_7b-k-8pQnl4eXh2qzypFDqo3SJZhzxeZtfD5Gz-2d5l_5UQyGdRkpEe5iTNg7n-Ym8peYgGPX5-0XfvuKFb26NvDR0Oq3q7tIe5QhaxEFf_A74oKH_kAx1ai3sa3XkJ_4KEm0/s1600/Sarah_Palin.jpg" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> </span><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"You betcha that I <i>love </i>to quit.</span></span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div align="center" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Elitists? They think I'm unfit.</span></div><div align="center" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">I've pooped out five babies!</span></div><div align="center" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Now I'm treated like rabies.</span></div><div align="center" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Oh, Roger! 'Twas you found my clit."</span></div>KennethCBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18158789764258622658noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4175956637807460600.post-33211757429756314712011-10-11T13:58:00.000-07:002011-10-11T14:29:26.188-07:00Tittycunt Follies; or, The Nancy Grace Story<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEb9D2i1muCTzMTucFVX0f5APQOHkh61wuSSj-59zFXj6GPIg0l-FkVJH2ddmzl2bjxvLrhNc633MGxuWK7qgll06oIvF9sQ720nSY_Cfzk71xdNmL-YUf0zLz_sxZoBCgI10CjFTlgyRL/s1600/Nancy_Grace.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEb9D2i1muCTzMTucFVX0f5APQOHkh61wuSSj-59zFXj6GPIg0l-FkVJH2ddmzl2bjxvLrhNc633MGxuWK7qgll06oIvF9sQ720nSY_Cfzk71xdNmL-YUf0zLz_sxZoBCgI10CjFTlgyRL/s320/Nancy_Grace.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">There once was a harpy named Nance</span></div></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">Whose nipples were looked at askance.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: large;">"You're guilty, you puke!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: center;"><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">The courts I would nuke!</span></div><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Let </span><i style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">me</i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> throw the switch, or I'll dance!"</span></span></div>KennethCBhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18158789764258622658noreply@blogger.com0